I feel like they just conspired together…
THE WINK, THE WINK IS KILLING ME.
This is so adorable!!
Man’s best friend indeed.
THE ENTIRE SCHOOL WOULD HATE YOU
JINGLE JINGLE, MUTHERFUCKER.
It’s almost as bad as mum season.
What the fuck is a mum?
OH MY GOD. IS IT REALLY A TEXAS ONLY THING?!
For Homecoming, students make these THINGS from HELL that have excess amounts of ribbons and bells and they wear them all the time. They are usually placed on prize winning livestock, but somehow they made their way into schools. They have huge mums at the top, and they just get bigger and bigger each year. Sometimes they are completely covered in them. One day the students are just going to morph into one.
You knew when the season was coming because you could hear a horrifying jingle in the distance while you sleep.
They cost hundreds of dollars to make, or buy pre-made for the bigger ones. The bigger the better, and the more souls you sacrificed to get it.
What the fuck, Texas?
You don’t understand: homecoming is serious business here.
Also… is this REALLY a Texas only thing?
"this baby came out of you but im not 100% sure its yours"
Funny thing - a woman who applied for welfare after her husband left her hadto supply DNA evidence he was actually the father. The results: he was definitely the father, but she wasn’t the mother. Her children were removed from her custody and she was sued for fraud, even though she insisted they were her children.
Turns out, she wasn’t a surrogate or a kidnapper (the two most obvious explanations) - she was a chimera. As an embryo, she fused at a very early stage with her twin, forming one individual. Her ovaries apparently developed from cells that had originally belonged to her vanished twin. Later on more tests showed that while the woman’s skin and hair DNA did not match her childrens, DNA taken from her cervix did.
WHAT THE FUCk
This went from stupid to really interesting in point 5 seconds.